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<title>Red Canvas. by GonnaRattleTheStars</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25580875">Red Canvas.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GonnaRattleTheStars/pseuds/GonnaRattleTheStars'>GonnaRattleTheStars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BadThingsHappen - R1 [20]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Anastasia (1997), Treasure Planet (2002)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BTHB Prompt: Self Harm, Cutting, M/M, Self-Harm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:47:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>907</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25580875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GonnaRattleTheStars/pseuds/GonnaRattleTheStars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>(TRIGGERS: Self-harm, please read with caution!)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jim's eyes subconsciously follow the fresh blood dripping from his upper arm down to his forearm and hand, breathing slow and steady instead of quick and harsh. He looks up at the calendar on the wall and sees the date. Oh... that's why the urge to cut has been so strong today.</p><p>The bright '07/14' seems to glare back at him. July 14th, the day that his father had left him and his mom for good because he "couldn't handle the responsibility of raising a family", as he'd heard him put it during an argument with Sarah the night before. That was the single worst night of his life, not to mention the afternoon that Leland had boarded a ship and never looked back, not even having the decency to say goodbye to his only son.</p><p>It's always today... always today that the cutting gets really bad.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri | Dmitry (Anastasia 1997 &amp; Broadway)/Jim Hawkins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BadThingsHappen - R1 [20]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829269</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen Bingo</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Red Canvas.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim's not the type of person who opens up easily, if at all. He closes himself off to anybody who tries to get him to open up, including those he's closest to. He knows it's a problem, but he doesn't feel that he can properly talk to people about his issues regarding certain... touchy subjects.</p><p>In fact, that's one of the reasons he started cutting. This is something personally soothing for him, something that he uses as a coping mechanism rather than talking things out with a loved one or, Heavens forbid, a therapist. Something about watching his own blood trickle slowly down his body, imagining the negative thoughts going with it, just feels so much more relaxing than any other method that some glorified guidance counselor can conjure up.</p><p>Not even Dimitri, his boyfriend, the one Jim trusts with everything in his being, knows about this self-destroying habit of his, nor does his mom.</p><p>Besides, Jim's been doing this since he was twelve, and he doesn't feel that he needs any help. The last time he tried seeking help, things just got worse and he fell deeper into the habit, if the many scattered scars that litter both of his thighs are anything to go off of.</p><p>He doesn't know why, but today, the urge to self-mutilate is really strong... like, intensely strong.</p><p>However, Dimitri is home from work today, which doesn't give Jim ample time to himself to follow through with his habit. He certainly doesn't want Dimitri to become suspicious, so he shoves those thoughts into the back of his mind while he's spending some (admittedly) much-needed quality time with him.</p><p>It's when Dimitri leaves to spend time with some friends that afternoon that Jim breathes a mental sigh of relief. Finally, he's getting some alone time. He smiles and kisses him at the door before he heads off, and after he closes the door behind him, Jim almost instantly makes a beeline for their bedroom.</p><p>He lets out a breath that he didn't even know he'd been holding. Easily locating the stash of extra razorheads that Dimitri keeps in his drawer for shaving, he begins to carefully take one apart, being careful to dispose the evidence. It's not like Dimitri will notice, there's plenty of them in there.</p><p>He prepares beforehand by laying an old blanket across where he plans to sit, in case some blood drips down onto the carpet. Bringing the razor to his arm, he quickly drags it across. The sight of the crimson liquid soon follows, easing his racing thoughts.</p><p>Jim's eyes subconsciously follow the fresh blood dripping from his upper arm down to his forearm and hand, breathing slow and steady instead of quick and harsh. He looks up at the calendar on the wall and sees the date. Oh... that's why the urge to cut has been so strong today.</p><p>The bright '07/14' seems to glare back at him. July 14th, the day that his father had left him and his mom for good because he "couldn't handle the responsibility of raising a family", as he'd heard him put it during an argument with Sarah the night before. That was the single worst night of his life, not to mention the afternoon that Leland had boarded a ship and never looked back, not even having the decency to say goodbye to his only son.</p><p>It's always today... always today that the cutting gets really bad.</p><p>He's momentarily snapped out of his blissful moment when he hears the front door open and Dimitri's voice, seemingly talking on the phone with someone.</p><p>"No, I understand, we can plan it some other time."</p><p>A pause, and then that chuckle that Jim loves so much. He momentarily forgets that he's holding a razor, and about the blood that drips from his arm, when he hears that little laugh.</p><p>When he finally regains his senses, the door to the bedroom creaks open, and Dimitri comes into view, his phone cradled against his face.</p><p>"Listen, it's alright, you-"</p><p>He stops mid-sentence as his smile immediately vanishes at the sight of Jim, and the other knows that he can't hide it any longer.</p><p>"Dimitri?" The voice on the other end speaks, but Jim doesn't recognize it.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm gonna have to call you back," Dimitri says, hanging up the phone without saying bye. He strides over to Jim, who starts crying uncontrollably and apologizing profusely.</p><p>However, instead of yelling like Jim expects him to do, Dimitri simply takes the bloodied razorblade from his hand, throwing it in the trash can beside the bed, and gathers him up in his arms, not seeming to care if any blood gets on him. He just sits there with Jim cradled in his arms, letting his partner sob against his shoulder for as long as he needs to.</p><p>Dimitri promises that he'll get Jim the proper help that he needs if Jim is willing to try to stop. At the reluctant nod that comes moments afterwards, he sets Jim down on the bed and heads into the bathroom to grab a bandage.</p><p>It takes a ton of determination on Jim's part, and there are times when he relapses, especially if his mental state is really bad, but over time, and with Dimitri's help and support, he learns to find other ways of coping with the negative thoughts and feelings, especially when the 14th of July rolls around.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Guys, I have five more prompts to go!! Only five! Also, don't come at me for the title, I didn't know what to call this fic.</p><p>If you made it this far, I want to take a moment to say that if you're currently struggling with self-harm yourself, or if you feel like relapsing, please, please seek the necessary help that you need because you are strong enough to take that step. I may be a stranger on the Internet that doesn't even know you, but I believe in you. I believe that you can seek help because seeking help for self-destructive behavior is not a sign of weakness no matter how much you may think that it is, but rather a sign of strength, a sign that you want to get better.</p><p>If you're recovering from self-harm, I want you to know that I am so proud of you and I hope that you stay strong and find other ways of coping with any negative experiences or traumatic events that don't involve harming yourself. You are someone that deserves to love yourself, and I believe in you.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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